Tworn

I’m boring myself
How annoying
My girlfriends are boring me too
Its cloying
Twitter is a pest
A nuisance at best
Should the digital age be all about ME?
I don’t want to know if your upgrade was free,
Your flatbeds are comfy and your boyf brought you tea
Look at me and my fabulous life
No. You look at you, stop asking me to
If you like what you see then I guess more fool me

love sucks

Stomping and wailing and pitching and railing
Up on the heath for the 20th time this week
Dog’s looking at me wary and licking his paws
Every time I get up he retreats from the door
Filled up the freezer and hoovered the floors
Watered the plants and rearranged the drawers
Stared out the window and counted the cats
Talked at my mother, thrown cards into hats
Peeled back a layer to get at what’s there
A blue felt beret sitting under my hair
A barrier to sense, its making me dense
Being in love sucks
Just my dumb luck

Comedown

A nose full of cold
A head full of woe
A heart full of blue
And a hole in my soul

Hot lemon and honey, preserve of the granny
Three nights on the lash and I’m cursed with a rash
My hair’s turned to straw and my shoulder is sore
Piss holes for eyes and a mouth filled with ‘why’s?’

I’m not built for booze or the rock n’ roll louche
I’m a cotton wool bomb and my wiring’s come loose
It’s a sorry affair when one’s brain is just air,
Straight back to bed for Calamity Bear

sleeping with a potential psycho

i'm sleeping with a potential psycho
he lives on an estate in District 9
he is ever so just a little kinky
we drink gin and have a swell time

but there's something awry in the ointment
yes there's something afoot in the eyes
the man can't sit still
its like he's on drill
and my goodness he knows how to imbibe

so i'm thinking of calling this thing off
yes i'm thinking this fling's run its course
i'm loving the sex and the smooth solid pecs
but my captain i think we should pause

Travels with Dogs Various

in Marylebone i made friends with a lurcher
in rooms lined with books we followed each other around

in Parson Green i hung out with a dachshund
permanently cross she is
with cloche hat, coat and boots on

in Shepherds Bush, the terrier resides
she sleeps with you sometimes,
all love and bright eyes

Parker, my heart dog still waits over in Spain
courage Parks, not long now,
we'll cross paws again

Oh Madame!

Oh Madame, I couldn't possibly
But Sir, you simply must
Well, Couldn't we just have coffee
Look Sir, I shall have to insist

But my wife is expecting me later
Oh Sir! Just give her a call -
The trains are running late again
Leave the light on in the hall

But Madame, my pockets are empty
Oh Sir, let's have a quick look
Well, what do you know? A monkey
Mind out, its a tiny bit stuck

Bah! Madame! What on earth are you doing?
Your hands really oughtn't to be there
Oh Sir! Just relax and enjoy it
Come, lets' get you sat in this chair

No! Madame you are trying my patience
Ahhhhh, I really must ask you to stop
Oh Good Lord that feels rather wonderful
Could I book you until one o'clock?

Spieler Dealer

Bald headed twat
He yelled at me in Italian
I don't stand for that
I tried my most reasonable tone

'Occupato' he screeched
Pointing at the chair
'Yes I quite understand,
but there is no-one there'

'Ticket ticket' he cried
'I don't have one, I replied'
Then I committed my greatest error
by smiling at this Holy Terror

'Casa casa casa', with matching points
I understood that but my nose was out of joint
I followed the point and turned upon my heel
His boss is a good friend of mine and he may regret that spiel

Something New

Oh no, not you, she said, she said
But something new, instead instead
We’ve been here before darling so many times
I know this script, I can read you the lines

And I want him now, yes the one I can’t see
The one in the gloaming who looks now at me
He isn’t yet present and I’m not yet there
But I sense oftentimes, on the wing, in the air

I could be wrong yes, it has happened before
He may be a friend, just a friend, nothing more
To reach through two worlds and to touch fingertips
To laugh in the dark and to love all to bits

My life is for loving, my friends are forever
But you’re not my friend darling, you are my lover
And my heart, my wild heart is not precious to you
So cheerio sweetheart, I want something new

Now, you're a poem

I didn’t see this one coming
He hit me broadside with a text
Thanks for the fun, take care, it said
I was oooh just a little bit vexed

I’m glad he had fun
I don’t think I did
We had unfinished business
He had two kids

A careless instruction from a man who doesn’t
Oooh they make me cross these boys
A rogue and a scoundrel he is in his eyes
Next time perhaps a blow up toy?

He thinks he’s been honest and all above board
But a person can trick without saying a word
I deleted his number
I turned off my phone
For now, I’m truly much better alone

the nanny cooked me dinner

she cooked me dinner
this woman i didn't know
in the kitchen of my friend's house
the kids were in bed and so...

she was perfectly utterly charming
with this beautiful open smile
she laughed as she mashed
and the oven door crashed
chatting all the while

and i remained there
suspended in air
eating green beans whilst perched on a chair
half giggles half despair
such a bourgeois affair

I hope the exit is joyful and I hope never to return

I fancy myself as Frida Kahlo
Don't much fancy the trolley car crash though
And I could really do without the polio
Leaving one leg shorter than the othero

But two marriages to the revolutionary Diego
An affair with Trotsky, fellow pinko
And a dalliance with Josephine Baker Oh!

Cultivator of the infamous monobrow
Endurer of 35 operations wow
Survivor of a lance through the uterus OW!

Only interested in telling her own story
Showed her world of pain in colour and fury
In later life was an amputee
When gangrene forced removal below the knee
A true icon of feminity
I just like the clothes
She dwarfs me

Lost in Lorca

With a rose in her hair
She rocks in a chair
Ay me, says she

Black thoughts in her heart,
The tears cease and start
Ay love, such love

The swallows swoop and dive
Siesta shadows glide
Ay how, poor cow

La Osa Mayor claims the sky
The chair is still
The river run dry

Ay now, what now?

Love Lies Bleeding

I plunged the knife into his heart
I plunged it right on in
The heart said No,
Its not your place
to bin this man of sin

The heart said So
And I said Oh
We tableaued for a while

His blood pumped out
But he gave no shout
Just twitched with half a smile

The dam broke in my head
A spring creaked on the bed
The mattress now was red
He opened one eye and said

I was only ten minutes late
How d'you get in such a state?

The Thin Line

if i didn't love you
and you didn't want me
then i wouldn't know
and you wouldn't see

if i didn't want you
and you ever loved me
then it wouldn't show
and we might be free

truth and beauty

A life of truth and beauty
Tattoo it on my wrists
Ink it in my veins
Prove that it exists

Oh no

Oh no he didn’t call
Oh woe I’m in the hall
Oh hell I ripped my dress
Oh balls the flat’s a mess

Oh bugger my head hurts
Oh Christ I’ve lost my purse
Oh cock its ten past one
Oh will I ever learn?

Sex and the City

I’ve been watching too much Sex and the City
Its not good for a girl’s psyche

An episode a day keeps the mean reds at bay
But back to back action brings panicked depression

The clothes and the cocktails
The men and Manolos

Is much much removed
From my dull life of shoes

“Of false idols beware”
said the chap in the air

Is Louboutin a God?
Can’t I worship the clog?

And as for the sex
Well it makes this girl vexed

Who has room for a swing?
And that vibrator thing?

Now I sound like a prude
And I quite like the rude

It’s a bit of a mare
For a poor confused bear

Now…Aidan or Big?
Knowing my luck…Stig

i write

I write

I write when I’m happy I write when I’m sad I write when I’m lonely I write when I’m mad I write when I’m crazy I write when I’m sane I write from the loss with all to the gain

I write for endeavour I write for release I write for a purpose I write for some peace I write for my future I write from my past I write in pure fury I talk out my ass

I write in the hope that things will change soon I write and I trust in the turn of the moon I write in exhaustion I write for my smile I write and I hope and I think all the while

I write for the shhhhhhhh and the loud and the proud I write for my eyes which are cloudy now now I write for the clack of the keys and the sense and the order of things which eludes me hence hence

I write from the heart I write from my head I write at my desk on the bus in my bed I write with no stops or commas or caps I write in frustration at all of you chaps

I write from the chaos I write for the soothe I write for some way of solving the prove I write for no one I write for you all I write from the depths I write to enthral

I write