and, for the future? you came on a little strong...

back it up baby
back it up more
now drive that truck off that cliff onto the floor

what's in the truck?
who gives a fuck?
it's a girl with a heart
and a part that won't start
and a head that's in bed
with the tool of a shed
of a man with no plan
and a boyfriend named Stan

while reversing the truck
she keeps getting stuck
it's a nineteen point turn
burn baby burn
hip dippity dip
she can't drive for shit

bruised, bridling, brave

I'm a pioneer. Damn you from there to here

Take a leap of faith. Give me a nice white clean page

I don't need all that old script from the one who left you in the shit

Your heart is heavy enough in your chest, I ain't going to trolley bag the rest

It's always the women who go before, impossible to balance out the score

I'm getting some wings and a pair of skates and I'll learn to apparate and I'll show up just in time before she really goes to town and preserve your soul in a jar and your heart in a misty shell which I shall hang from my left ear

take me home

sad
it hurts
feel bad
feel cursed
i want someone to take me home
it's tiresome going home alone
perhaps i wouldn't drink so much
with a man to say i've had enough
caveman style he drags me off
i shrieking and wailing but secretly chuffed
i would put myself in danger less
with six foot strong of strappingness
and minicab drivers are much less scary
when the back seat's filled with big and hairy
and perhaps i wouldn't wake up dressed
with the lights all on and my hair possessed
waking up to a hug and smiling eyes
is preferable to my pillow face in disguise
yes i really must stop going out on my own
on order: one man to take this girl home

Cocks

The shirt was cursed, the jacket was worse
He had a perfectly wretched and ragged air
An actors face, both lecherous and chaste
Seedy as hell, but sexy as well
I wanted him to tie me to a bed or a chair
He kissed me once, I repaired to a sofa
He kissed me again, and it was all over

Its not good for a girl to go without sex
One develops the morals of an alley cat
One starts to fancy positive creeps
When one hasn’t engaged in ahem for weeks
And I nearly went home with him, reader I did
Except my ex lover had other ideas
He pretty much threw the new out the front door
So no nookie for Dottie which is rather a bore

Tworn

I’m boring myself
How annoying
My girlfriends are boring me too
Its cloying
Twitter is a pest
A nuisance at best
Should the digital age be all about ME?
I don’t want to know if your upgrade was free,
Your flatbeds are comfy and your boyf brought you tea
Look at me and my fabulous life
No. You look at you, stop asking me to
If you like what you see then I guess more fool me

love sucks

Stomping and wailing and pitching and railing
Up on the heath for the 20th time this week
Dog’s looking at me wary and licking his paws
Every time I get up he retreats from the door
Filled up the freezer and hoovered the floors
Watered the plants and rearranged the drawers
Stared out the window and counted the cats
Talked at my mother, thrown cards into hats
Peeled back a layer to get at what’s there
A blue felt beret sitting under my hair
A barrier to sense, its making me dense
Being in love sucks
Just my dumb luck

Comedown

A nose full of cold
A head full of woe
A heart full of blue
And a hole in my soul

Hot lemon and honey, preserve of the granny
Three nights on the lash and I’m cursed with a rash
My hair’s turned to straw and my shoulder is sore
Piss holes for eyes and a mouth filled with ‘why’s?’

I’m not built for booze or the rock n’ roll louche
I’m a cotton wool bomb and my wiring’s come loose
It’s a sorry affair when one’s brain is just air,
Straight back to bed for Calamity Bear